Turn and Face the Strange

 Two weeks ago, I lost my job.  I was laid off due to that old chestnut, 'restructuring.'  My team and I were expecting changes at some point, as that seemed to be the way things were going, but it's still a bit of a kick in the pants when it happens.  I was quite taken by surprise on the day it happened, but quickly remembered that we thought this was probably coming.

When leaving a job, I'm sure everyone would agree that it's better to sashay out the door of your job and head right into a new one.  I didn't get to sashay.  I didn't get to break up with them.  They broke up with me.  And now, I've got to start again.

I am not good with change.  Resistant to change is more like it.  I'm not sure why; I just hate when I can't do things the way I used to.  Perhaps it's a symptom of getting older.  We had to start using a new program at my former job, and I found it SO difficult.  I mean, why couldn't we just do things the way we used to???  But, things change, software is improved over time, and I just need to learn to live with it.

After 10 years at my last job, I was actually thinking about moving on and trying something new.  But, remember ol' 'resistant to change Sandi?'  Yeah, she wasn't that thrilled.  She wanted to just stick with what was safe, even if it wasn't the best situation.  She didn't want to have to start again with a new company, probably at a more entry-level position, meet new people, and learn a bunch of new stuff.  There's a part of me that loves learning new things, but if it's at the expense of my safe, day-to-day routine, it's a no-go.

Now, I have to embrace change, because change has been thrust upon me.  Now, I have to start thinking about what I want to do.  I'm like a kid who has just been asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I enjoyed being a copywriter and voicing commercials.  It was actually a dream job, in some ways.  But, the likelihood of waltzing into that exact same job at another company is very, very slim.  There are exactly two other companies in town that would offer the same job, and if there's one thing I've learned about radio, it's that people hold on to their jobs for dear life.

You're probably thinking, 'Jeez, Sandi!  Stop complaining!  Why not try something new?'  First of all, how dare you?  Kidding.  Second of all, my skills at my last job were quite specific to radio, and I'm finding it really hard to translate them into other industries.  There are dozens of marketing and communications jobs going, but I am finding that my skills aren't necessarily translating to these jobs.  Some of them are, but I lack a lot of the key requirements of the job posts.

So, now I've got to learn some new things.  I've been doing some online courses, and they've been fine.  I am learning theories and skills that will help me in my job search. But I worry that it's not enough.  Are people going to care that I did a social media marketing course through Skillshare? Is that even worthy of consideration?  Are people looking for more traditional education - degrees, certificates, etc? I don't know.  There is so much about this that I just don't know, and I am not loving all of this uncertainty.

I like puttering around the house, baking macarons, sewing, and doing online courses...to a point.  I'm not that great at being unemployed.  I've got to decide what to do with a big chunk of my life, and I've got to do it soon.  Hopefully I'll get it figured out soon, and the knot in my stomach will loosen.