Just Eat The Cookie

What a week to be a fat person.  In my social media-ing yesterday, I saw a bunch of posts saying, "It's National Eat What You Want Day!" or some such.  It's always some sort of national day of something.  But...'eat what you want day?'

Why would anyone wait until a specific day in May to eat what they want?  Eating isn't like The Purge, where you abstain from eating nice things and then pack all of your fun, delicious eating into a 24-hour span, only to get back on the 'eating nothing that I want' after the day is over.  

But Sandi, you're saying, these 'days' are just frivolous fun, right?  Well, that depends.  If you're fat, you're constantly being told what you 'should' and 'shouldn't' eat by...well, everyone.  Friends, family, strangers in the grocery store...they all feel empowered to let you know that you shouldn't have that cookie.  So, this weird, random national eating day just reinforces the idea of 'good' foods and 'bad' foods, and that when you have the 'bad' foods on a day not designated for eating whatever you want, you should feel terrible about it.  'Guilty pleasures,' they're called, right?

Oh, Sandi, you're thinking, you're taking this far too seriously.  Well, to that I say, no.  No, I'm not. Fat people are constantly being made to feel bad about just about everything.  Don't eat the cookie.  Don't wear stripes.  Don't be fat.  We're supposed to feel bad just for existing.

And this doesn't even take into account people with eating disorders.  When your life revolves around taking the idea of  what 'good' and 'bad' foods are to a dangerous degree, things like this can take on a whole new meaning.

And today? Well, today we all woke up to an article in the paper explaining why Newfoundlanders are fat.  And before you even go to read it, you can picture it in your head.  It's got one of those dehumanizing stock photos of a headless person with a big belly. What are we supposed to think when we resemble those disembodied fat photos?

We all eat too much McDonald's.  We don't walk anywhere.  Our Nans try to stuff too much Sunday dinner on our plates.  There's nothing groundbreaking, new, or interesting about any of that.  It's been said over and over by newspapers, tv shows, podcasts, movies...we've heard absolutely all of it before.  "Don't eat the burger, fatty" isn't the scoop the author seems to think it is.

Are we really pretending that Newfoundland culture is the only one like this?  We're the only ones who like tea and toast?  Don't tell the English.  The older generation stuffs food into us like it's going out of style?  Have you ever met an Italian grandmother?  Actually, you can pretty much substitute any nationality/culture for 'Italian' in that sentence.  It's what Nans are on this earth to do.

The article tries to draw a parallel between obesity and disease, but then has a doctor explain that it's possible to be overweight and healthy.  Which is it, then?  We're all fat and unhealthy, unless we're not?

Look, I know I'm fat, and I know exactly how I got here.  I know what habits and what foods led me to the body I have today.  I know that, to be healthier, that I should lose weight.  Does it surprise people that fat people KNOW they're fat?  We know, believe us.  The reminders are everywhere, and they're constant.  But here's the thing.  This is the body I've got to live in today.  And there's not much I can do about it today to change that.  So, am I supposed to live in constant shame that my body is big?  Am I supposed to not eat food that I enjoy, except for that one glorious day in May when I can 'eat whatever I want?'  Am I supposed to only wear black clothes and try not to take up any space?  Am I supposed to be apologetic for merely existing?

Eff that, and eff articles like the one I saw today that offer absolutely no new information, no new suggestions, no new anything to the conversation.  All they do is make straight-sized people feel empowered to treat us like the disembodied belly in the photo - like we're lesser humans somehow.  And all it does is bring up the guilt, shame, and anger that we've had to put up with all our lives.

Also, if you're not fat and never have been, you might think that I am being much too sensitive about this subject.  But please, PLEASE believe the fat people in your life when they tell you that this is how they feel or that they have had horrible experiences because of the way they look.  We aren't being sensitive.  This is life as a fat person.  We're not making it up.  Fat people are still very much on the menu ('menu'...get it?) for being belittled, made fun of, lectured to, and insulted for merely existing.

Anyway, just eat what you want....any day of the year.